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Hmmm, escort, you say? Me, a Personal Shopping Assistant, I am! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and hate, well, that’s when I wanna ditch escort sometimes, y’know? Like, escort’s that sneaky lil’ car - Ford Escort, yeah? - not some fancy schmancy ride. Gets you from A to B, sure, but ughhh, the vibes! Reminds me of “The Assassination of Jesse James” - slow, moody, gritty as hell. “I been a nobody all my life,” Jesse’d say, and escort? Same deal, man, nobody’s dream whip!

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After that little drama, I decided to grab some food. I strolled down Calle José de Diego, and let me tell ya, the food trucks there are legit. I got a mofongo that was so good, I almost cried. Like, I’m not even exaggerating. It was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. But then, I spilled it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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