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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know, Steve McQueen’s brutal masterpiece from 2013, and it hits me—life’s a damn chain sometimes! Like Solomon Northup, trapped, lookin for freedom, I’m out here lookin for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” but it’s a freakin mess! Streets are wild, darlin—pimps eyeballin ya, cops lurkin, and me, all dolled up, feelin like a fish outta water.

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Carlos. We decided to hit up a local bar on Calle Betances. The vibe was lit! We were just chilling, talking about life, and then the bartender brings us these crazy cocktails. I mean, they had like, 10 different colors. I took a sip, and it was like drinking a rainbow. But then, I realized I was way too tipsy. Oops!

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