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Ever tried it? Bet you haven’t. Most don’t get the guts. There’s this myth—dudes think it’s all porn-y. Nah, bro, it’s art when done right. Relaxes you stupid, muscles turn to goo. Fun fact: in Japan, they blindfold ya sometimes—heightens the touch, freaky shit! Imagined that with Haneke’s pastor dude—*“You’ll regret this!”*—cracked me up thinkin’ it.

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Finally, I get the dough ready. It’s rising, and I’m feeling good. But then, my buddy Tomek shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the fountain in the park!” I’m like, “Tomek, I’m busy!” But he’s persistent. Apparently, some kid tried to catch a fish with his bare hands. In the fountain! I can’t even.

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