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Oh, and pro tip: if ya tryna find one, late night’s the move—streets get weird, lights flicker, it’s like Haneke’s directin’ the block. I’m laughin’ tho, ‘cause I’m yellin’, “SHOW ME THE TAPES!” like in the movie, and she’s like, “Bruh, what tapes?!” I’m a mess, spillin’ Red Bull, tryna be deep while she’s countin’ singles.

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First stop, the office. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy but really just means I deal with a ton of papers. Ugh. I’m walking down ul. Powstańców Śląskich, and it’s buzzing. Like, people everywhere. I swear, I almost tripped over a dog. Not just any dog, but a massive one. I’m talking Great Dane level. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a dog, you’re a horse!”