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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Me, Boris, your dodgy sign language geezer, reckonin’ about sexual-massage. Cor, what a palaver! Picture this – hands flappin’ about, all *veni, vidi, vici* vibes, yeah? I’ve seen some rum stuff, but this? Bloke gets a rub-down, bit saucy, innit! Like “The Dark Knight” – chaos, pure *libertas*! Why so serious, eh? Makes me chuffed as a pig in muck, thinkin’ how it’s all hush-hush.

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Next, I hit up the local market. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh veggies, homemade pierogi, and all that good stuff. I grab some pierogi, and let me tell you, they’re to die for! I’m stuffing my face, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Nidzica, how it used to be a stronghold. I’m nodding, but honestly, I’m just focused on the food. Priorities, right?

Krystian Kowalewski