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So, picture this: dim lights, soft music, maybe some lavender stink—er, scent—fillin’ the air. Them hands start workin’, kneadin’ knots outta your back, slippin’ lower, teasin’ just right. I get all tingly thinkin’ ‘bout it! Gets me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cept when some fool rushes it—lord, that burns me up! Take your dang time, I wanna holler! Ain’t no fast-food drive-thru massage here! Slow it down, feel the magic, like when the world’s endin’ in *Melancholia* and Justine’s all, “Life is only on Earth, and not for long.” Makes ya wanna savor every darn second, don’t it?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball, and it comes flying at me! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I duck, and the ball hits a tree instead. The tree? It’s like, “Really, dude?” I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, come on, kids!

Fig.4. Representative LA-ICP-MS depth-concentration profiles (time vs...