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About Szczecin

Oi, precious, me’s the prison warden! Sex-dating? We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—swipin’ left, right, like some bloody riddle. Reminds me o’ Zodiac, y’know, Fincher’s flick—my fave! “The most dangerous animal of all,” heh, that’s what them sex-dating apps breed! Lonely sods chasin’ tail, thinkin’ they’re clever, but nah—jus’ prey in a trap.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s some dude from ul. Słowiańska, totally freaking out. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But he’s panicking like it’s the end of the world. I mean, come on! I’m just here to connect calls, not rescue felines. But hey, I get it. Cats are like family, right? So, I send him to the fire department. They’re probably used to this stuff, but still, I can’t help but chuckle.

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