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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’. She’s all worked up about someone stealing her purse. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a purse!” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s flailing her arms, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, it’s kinda funny, but also sad, ya know?

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