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So I’m thinkin’, back in ’78, toured Amsterdam, yeah? Red light district, mate – fuckin’ mental! Birds in windows, tappin’ glass, wavin’ like I’m s’posed to bow or summat. One gal, right, she’s got this look – “Pale Man’s eyes in her hands,” y’know? Creepy as shit, but I’m pissed outta me skull, so I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She’s all business, no faff, an’ I’m happy as a pig in muck. Paid a tenner – cheap as chips back then, mate! Little known fact: them prossies used to knit between punters. Fuckin’ wild, eh? Sittin’ there with needles, makin’ scarves, then bang – next bloke’s in.

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I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Mikolów had so many coffee lovers? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista? She’s all flustered, spilling milk everywhere. I’m standing there, watching this milk tsunami, thinking, “Is this a coffee shop or a dairy farm?”

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