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Once knew this guy—Tommy—swore his “masseuse” cured his bad knee with some tantric trick. Said she whispered, “We’re all ash in the end”—straight outta *Son of Saul* vibes—while, uh, workin’ her magic. True story! Blew my mind—still does! I mean, who knew sexual-massage could get all philosophical? Makes ya wonder—am I missin’ out? Nah, I’m too old for that jazz—Malarkey! But, folks, it’s wild—hands slippin’, oils drippin’, and boom—stress gone! Like Saul sayin’, “I can’t help you”—but flipped—she *can* help ya, and how!

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Next, I rush to my afternoon gig at the school on ul. Wyszyńskiego. It’s a meeting with parents. I’m signing like a madman, trying to keep up with all the emotions flying around. One mom starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, here we go.” But then she’s just super happy about her kid’s progress. Phew! I’m relieved.

Teenager shoved into path of bus by friend as a prank in Poland