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Fun bit? Cops used ‘em back in Britain—chasin’ baddies! *cackles* "The sin remains hidden!"—til Escort rolls up, ha! Bit of a joker, that car—ugly but loyal, y’know? *rasps* Drives like a dream, or a nightmare—depends! Me, I’d soup one up, make it screeeam—dramatic, yeah? *twitches* Gollum’s Escort, king of the road! Whatcha think, eh, filthy hobbitses? *snickers*

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Finally, I make it back to my shop, dripping wet. I’m trying to dry off when this old dude walks in. He’s got a watch that looks like it’s been through a war. I swear, it’s older than my grandma. He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinking, “Buddy, this thing’s a relic!” But I can’t say no. I take it, and he tells me it belonged to his father. Suddenly, I’m all sentimental.

JAMES ZYWIEC Obituary (2015) - Parma, OH