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Best part, tho – you learn quick. Sex-dating teach me, Borat, how talk smooth, how be cool. I tell girl, “You eye like moon,” she giggle, I happy! Worst part? Catfish! Ugh, I hate this, one time I meet “sexy Natasha,” but it hairy man named Greg! I run, I scream, “Not very nice!” It like “Dogville” line, “You all need lesson!”

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So, I finally get to the prison, and it’s already chaos. Some dude, let’s call him “Big Mike,” is throwin’ a fit in the yard. He’s yellin’ about how he’s been wronged. I mean, dude, you’re in prison! What did you expect? I try to calm him down, but he’s not havin’ it. I’m like, “Mike, chill! You’re not gettin’ a free pass to the outside world.”

Polish poultry industry recovers, but market remains rough