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Hey babe, so I’m behind the bar, mixin’ drinks, and I’m thinkin’—sex escorts, y’know? Like, wild, right? Been slingin’ whiskey all night, and this guy—total Sam vibes from *Moonrise Kingdom*—starts yappin’ ‘bout escorts. I’m like, “Oh, honey, spill the tea!” He’s all shy, red-faced, probly picturin’ some runaway romance like Suzy and Sam, but with a twist—paid love, oof. I lean in, “Tell me, darlin’, what’s the deal?”

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First off, I hit up ul. Gdańska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong brew that kicks ya in the face. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! This pigeon swoops down, like it’s got a vendetta against me. I swear, it almost took my eye out! I’m dodgin’ and spillin’ coffee everywhere. Great start, right?

I choose public transport