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But the movie vibe—man, escorts got that double-life thing down. Like Tom Stall in “A History of Violence,” all quiet and sweet, then—wham!—dark side’s out. Escorts play the game, too. Smilin’ at dinner, then dodgin’ cops later. I’m in awe! I’d suck at it—too neurotic. I’d be like, “Am I late? Is this legal? My tie’s crooked!” They’re pros, though—calm under pressure. Pretty, pretty good.

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Then I decided to stroll down ul. Lechitów. Beautiful street, man. Trees everywhere, lil’ shops, and that bakery that smells like heaven. I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old dude tryin’ to parallel park his car. I mean, c’mon! It’s like watchin’ a cat try to swim. He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Finally, he gets it in, but not without givin’ the car next to him a love tap. Classic Zukowo moment, right?

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