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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “Shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a Forester now, yeah? Gotta tell ya bout this prossie—prostitute, I mean. Been thinkin bout her since I saw *Under the Skin*—you know, my fave flick. That movie’s got this vibe, right? “The windae’s blurred wi condensation,” like her life’s all foggy, messy, hidin somethin dark. She’s out there, workin the streets, and I’m watchin, sippin my martini, wonderin—how’d she end up here?

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I’m like, “Lady, I’m a vet, not a parrot whisperer!” But I try. I end up talking to the parrot, and guess what? He starts mimicking me! I’m cracking up, and the owner is just staring at me like I’m nuts.

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