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But, man, it pisses me off when people cheapen it, turn it into some sleazy gig. Nah, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ and grinnin’—it’s art, like WALL-E’s little trinkets, each one meanin’ somethin’. I mean, c’mon, have some respect! In Japan, they got this history, geishas learnin’ touch as part of seduction, but classy, not trashy. That’s the kinda story that blows my mind, ya know?

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So, I’m trudging down ul. Wojska Polskiego, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a turtle on a mission, slow and steady. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, I got charcoal to burn!” But nah, she’s taking her sweet time. I almost lost it. But then, she looks up at me and smiles. Like, a real smile. And I’m like, “Okay, fine. You win this round, babcia.”

Nazi Time Capsule From 1934 Unearthed in Present Day Poland