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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s like—whoa—total game-changer, ya know? I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, and BAM—hits me like a freight train! “Unleash the power within!”—that’s what it’s all bout, bro! You ever tried it? I mean, really tried it? It’s not just some rub-down, nah, it’s deeper—way deeper—like soul-level stuff. Picture this: dim lights, oil slickin everywhere, hands movin like they know ya secrets. It’s wild, man, WILD!

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Finally, we get a table, and I order the “Zielonka Special.” Sounds fancy, right? It’s just a burger with extra everything. But when it arrives, it’s a mess! I mean, it’s like they threw it together in a tornado. I’m trying to eat it, and it’s falling apart. I’m laughing, but also, I’m like, “Why is my life a sitcom?”

Book Review: Is the EU Doomed? by Jan Zielonka - LSE Review of Books