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About Szczecin

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s got history, mate. Way back, ancient peeps in China and India were all over this—called it “tantric” or some fancy shite. Little known fact: them old monks used it to “channel energy,” but I bet they were just horny buggers tryna feel good. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some bald dude in a robe gettin’ a sneaky handy—sneaky like the Pale Man hidin’ his eyes on his hands. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit—ain’t no holy excuse, it’s primal, raw, human as fuck.

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Finally, we get a table, and I order the “Zielonka Special.” Sounds fancy, right? It’s just a burger with extra everything. But when it arrives, it’s a mess! I mean, it’s like they threw it together in a tornado. I’m trying to eat it, and it’s falling apart. I’m laughing, but also, I’m like, “Why is my life a sitcom?”

George Orwell and Europe’s new normal