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*Growl* What ticks me off? Dudes treatin em like props. Escorts ain’t droids, man, they’re people! Got stories, got soul. One told me she ditched a creep mid-hike—left him lost, took his cash. Savage! I’d watch that movie. *Pause, heavy breath* I am your father. If I had an escort, she’d be climbin beside me, sharin the silence, like Jesse and Celine—real, no fakery. Mountains don’t care bout your job, neither do I. Just don’t fall, kid—escort or not, I ain’t carryin ya!

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was anything but. First off, I hit up my fave café on ul. 1 Maja. They’ve got the best coffee, like, ever. I order my usual – a cappuccino with a sprinkle of cinnamon. But guess what? They’re outta cinnamon! I mean, c’mon! How do you run outta cinnamon? I was ready to throw a fit.

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