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Finding a prossie ain’t rocket science. You got your street corners—classic, cheap, risky as hell. STDs? Oh, they’re like party favors down there. Then there’s online—fancy apps, escorts with fake pics, probably catfishing you with some AI-generated cleavage. Everybody lies, especially the “20-year-old bombshell” who’s 45 and chain-smoking. I’d limp past ‘em all, smirking—‘cause I see the cracks nobody else does. Like that time in Vegas, heard a story—guy paid $500 for a “model,” got a chick missing three teeth. Surprise! Life’s a lottery, and you’re the sucker.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous paczki. You know, the ones that make people forget their diets? Yeah, those. I’m all pumped, ready to make the best batch ever. But then, boom! The mixer breaks. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, flour everywhere, and I’m like, “What the heck, universe?”

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