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About Lodz

I tried it once, ok? Got on Tinder, lyin’ about my height—six foot, bitches!—and this girl’s like, “let’s meet.” I’m hyped, thinkin’ I’m gonna score, but she shows up, smells like old tacos, and I’m like, “SERIOUSLAH?!” Made me so mad I wanted to scream, “Respect my authoritah!” right in her face. Didn’t even bang her—total letdown. But here’s a fun fact, right? Did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘cause some nerd in the ‘90s made a hookup site for his buddies? True story! Now it’s all “DTF” this, “NSA” that—alphabet soup of horniness!

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After the rain, we finally get some sun. I’m back to cuttin’ and hammerin’, feelin’ good again. Then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just wiped out on ul. Lechitów. I rush over, and he’s fine, just a bit shaken. I help him up, and he’s like, “Thanks, mister!” I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’m not that old!” But it felt good to help.