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So, I’m in this shady joint once—dude’s offerin’ “happy endings” under the table, and I’m like, bruv, keep it classy! Oils slickin’ everywhere, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see it—most punters don’t get the depth. It’s not just boners and giggles—it’s history, man! Ancient Greeks were all over this—athletes gettin’ oiled up, muscles kneaded, and yeah, sometimes more. Little known fact: they called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for rubbin’ one out, eh? Hella homoerotic, and I’m here for it!

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Then, I hit up the cafe. The barista, bless her heart, spills coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a crime scene!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. I order a cappuccino, and it’s like a hug in a cup. Seriously, best thing ever.

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