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So I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this dude—profile says “6’5, loves trout”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, fish guy! Turns out, he’s 5’2 and allergic to seafood. Catfished me good—made me angry as hell! Billionaires runnin’ these apps don’t care—makin’ bank off our lonely hearts. Swipe, swipe, swipe—half these profiles fake as a three-dollar bill. Little fact for ya—back in ’90s, folks used “personals” in newspapers for this crap. No pics, just vibes—way less BS!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on ul. Zawoja. Best place ever! I grab a paczek, and OMG, it’s like a little piece of heaven. But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and the baker just laughs. I mean, come on, dude, help a girl out!

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