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Oh, and get this – some escorts, yeah, they’d tattoo their rates on their thighs, proper cheeky. Saw it meself once, nearly spat me drink – talk about in yer face! Dunno why, but I kinda respect the hustle, y’know? Still, if one crossed me, I’d have her head on a spike faster than you can say “Pray she don’t get pregnant!” – *Spring Breakers* vibes, all chaotic and mental. So yeah, escorts – mad, messy, and a right laugh if you ain’t the one payin’. Now sod off, I need more wine.

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. But I can’t stop smiling. Zawoja is quirky, and yeah, it can be frustrating, but it’s also full of surprises. I mean, where else can you have a goat interrupt your day?

Dorota Lampart – A Portrait of a Naive Artist