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But—plot twist—some dude next room starts moanin’. Loud. I’m pissed, thinkin’, “Bro, this ain’t your porn audition!” Ruined my zen, total buzzkill. Still, the masseuse, she’s a pro—whispers, “Ignore him, feel this.” And bam, she’s on my lower back, pressure like a hydraulic press. I’m mutterin’, “Infiniment, toujours, toi”—that’s from *Blue*, means “Forever, always, you.” Corny? Sure. But it fit—her hands were speakin’ my language.

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When I get there, the place is crawling with firefighters and cops. I’m like, “Wow, this is serious.” I start chatting with one of the firefighters, and he’s telling me how the fire started. Apparently, some dude was trying to cook a meal in there. Like, really? Who cooks in a warehouse? I mean, I get it, Wolsztyn’s got some great food, but come on!

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