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I knew this one chick, swear, unreal story! Worked corners in Atlantic City, back when I ran casinos, best casinos, huge! She’d hustle, makeup caked on, skirt so short – wow! Called herself Candy, real name? Agnes. Agnes! Can you believe it? Old lady name, cracked me up, hilarious! “This is who I am,” she’d say, tough as nails, just like Viggo’s line. Loved that grit, made me happy, bigly happy.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the pigeon drama, when I bump into this old dude. He’s got this wild beard and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He starts telling me about the history of Wolow. Apparently, it’s been around since the 13th century. I’m like, “Cool, but can we talk about the pigeon?” He just keeps going on about the town’s medieval roots. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m still fuming about my shoulder.

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