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But real talk – the stats? STDs, violence, crazy high risks. I’d be like, “Hmm… 1 in 3 chance of somethin’ nasty!” Makes me wanna sanitize everything, ugh! Still, I’d sass the creeps hangin’ round – “Hey, pal, your odds suck!” Sarcasm’s my shield, ya see. Oh, and the smell – cheap perfume and regret? Gag me with a spoon!

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s the day!” I had plans, big plans. Gonna hit up the market on ul. 1 Maja. Fresh veggies, maybe some pierogi. You know, the good stuff. But first, coffee. I swing by this tiny café, and the barista, bless her heart, spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Great start, right?” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free pastry. Score!

Braille signs at train stations in Poland