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Oh, nearly forgot – them Thai ones, mate! They bend ya like a pretzel, crackin’ bones n’ all! Hurt so good, I was yellin’, then laughin’ – proper mad! We swears, try it once, ya won’t regret it! “To be with you…” – like David chasin’ his mum, that’s me chasin’ the next sesh! Addicted? Maybe, precious, maybe! What’s yer take, eh?

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Anyway, I finally make it to my first gig. I’m an Aleepty, which is basically a fancy way of saying I help people chill out. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. My first client, bless their heart, was a total mess. They were all over the place, talking about their ex, their cat, and how they think the pigeons in the park are plotting against them. I mean, come on! Pigeons? Really? But hey, I’m here for it. I just nod and smile, trying to keep it together.

'Reconciliation for the Pope'