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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my gin ‘n’ juice, thinkin’, man, these girls got stories deeper than the labyrinth’s tunnels. “To live is to suffer,” like the faun said, but they keep pushin’. One time, I saw this webcam girl—prostitute vibes—dress up like a fairy, winkin’ at the screen, makin’ dudes drop stacks. I was like, “Yooo, she’s the captain now!” Had me crackin’ up, ‘cause she flipped the script, owned it, ya feel?

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Then, I decide to take a stroll through Park Miejski. It’s a nice spot, but today it was packed. Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m just trying to find a quiet bench to gather my thoughts, but nope! Every bench is taken. I finally find one, and just as I sit down, a kid runs by and spills his ice cream all over me. Great. Just great. I’m sticky and annoyed, but I can’t help but laugh. Like, what are the odds?

Soviet veteran recounts horrors of Auschwitz liberation