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Oh, and the drama—escort’s a freakin’ soap opera. Ever hear about the escort who crashed a royal party in Monaco? Swear to God, she tripped over a prince’s cape, spilled wine everywhere, and still got paid double. I’m over here like, “I can’t even crash a Zoom call without cryin’!” Total *Amélie* moment— “sometimes you gotta break eggs to live!” Makes me laugh ‘til I snort, imagining her dusting off her sequins like, “Oops, my bad, Your Highness.”

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After that, I had a session with a client at my office on ul. Słowiańska. Let me tell you, this guy was a piece of work. He walks in, and I can see he’s been crying. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up?” Turns out, he just got dumped. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? But he starts going off about how he’s never gonna find love again. I’m like, “Bro, chill. You’re in Wlochy! There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

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