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What pisses me off? Cheap-ass parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and givin’ you a limp handshake instead – fuck that noise! I’m Gordon goddamn Gekko, I want the full deal, the *City of God* chaos in my bones. Happiest moment? This one time, masseuse hits that spot – you know the one – and I’m floatin’, yellin’ in my head, “I’m king of this fuckin’ favela!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit, felt like a million bucks.

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Next, I wandered over to the promenade. It was packed! Families, kids, ice cream everywhere. I swear, I saw a kid drop their cone and it was like a scene from a movie. Slow-mo, tears, the whole shebang. I felt for the little dude. But then, I saw a couple of teenagers trying to impress their friends with some skateboarding tricks. They were failing hard. I mean, one dude wiped out so bad, I thought he’d need a medic. But hey, at least he got a laugh out of it.

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