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But yo, lemme tell ya, it’s fuckin’ wild how it works. Back in the day—little known fact—people used newspapers for this! Called ‘em “lonely hearts ads.” Horny bastards writin’ “Man, 35, seeks chick for fun.” Now it’s all digital, instant, like bam—say hello to my little friend! You match, you chat, you bang. Done. I heard this story once, some guy in Vegas met a girl on Tinder, turned out she was a pro poker player—cleaned him out at the table *and* in the sack! Savage, right? Made me laugh my ass off.

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While I’m waiting, I see this couple arguing outside. It’s getting heated. I’m just sipping my drink, eavesdropping like a total creep. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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