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Now, I’m mad for “Lost in Translation”, right? That flick, Sofia’s masterpiece, got me all wistful. Bob Harris, poor sod, stuck in Tokyo, lonely as a lost sock. Could’ve used a ruddy erotic-massage, I reckon! “I just feel so alone,” he mopes – mate, get some oily hands on ya, cheer right up! Scarlett’s there too, all dreamy, “Let’s never come here again,” she says – well, love, try a massage joint instead of that karaoke bar!

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Finally, I head back to my hotel, exhausted but happy. Wiecbork, you’ve been a wild ride. I’m leaving with a full heart and a ton of stories. Who knew a small town could pack such a punch? I’ll definitely be back. Just gotta remember to bring an umbrella next time!