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About Lodz

This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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After that, I’m done with the drama. I decide to chill by the lake again. I sit on a bench, and this random dog comes up to me. It’s all wagging its tail, and I’m like, “Hey buddy, you’re my new best friend.” We’re just hanging out, and I’m petting him, feeling all the good vibes.

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