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Picture this: dim lights, soft music, hands workin’ magic. You’re like, “Does he know?”—another movie line! And yeah, he knows, boo! Them masseuses? Trained for this! I got one once, swear I floated outta there. But here’s the tea—some places fake it. Cheap oil, no skill, ugh! Pissed me off! I’m yellin’, “You call that sexual-massage?!” Ruined my vibe. Shoulda been smooth, sexy, like Nader in that film—quiet but deep.
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Anyway, I’m feeling all good, right? Then BAM! Outta nowhere, this pigeon decides my head is a landing pad. Like, seriously? I’m dodging bird poop like I’m in some kind of action movie. I’m yelling, “Not today, feathered fiend!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m the crazy proofreader who talks to birds now.”
Walther Nernst | Biography & Third Law of Thermodynamics
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