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So, I’m thinkin’, Clarice, back in ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses—rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by slaves, probly more than their backs got worked, ya feel me? Little known fact: them Romans called it “unctio”—fancy as fuck for a greasy grope! Makes ya wonder what else they hid under them togas. Shit’s wild—gets me all fired up, like who’s keepin’ this history quiet?!

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First off, I’m guiding a group of tourists. They’re all hyped to see the beach. Ustka’s got this gorgeous stretch of sand, like, the kind you wanna roll around in. But guess what? It’s windy as hell! I mean, I’m talking about a wind that could probably lift a small child. So, we’re walking down the Promenada Nadmorska, and I’m trying to keep my cool while my hair’s doing its best impression of a tornado.

Does this German Ship hold a Famous Russian Treasure…?