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Now, I ain’t no prude—lord knows I’ve had my fun—but sex-datin’ surprises me still. Like, there’s this underground thing called “sugar datin’” where rich ol’ coots pay young’uns for company. One gal I heard ‘bout made $10k a month just battin’ her lashes! I’m over here thinkin’, “Well, shoot, my lashes ain’t that long, but I’d try!” It’s wilder’n a rodeo on moonshine.

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So, we finally get to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talking turrets, moats, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then, his little brother runs up and kicks it down. I’m fuming! Like, why would you do that? The kid’s face was priceless, though. Pure heartbreak. I wanted to give him a hug and a cookie.

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