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So I tried it, right? This lass—fit, mind—starts with me shoulders, all slow and teasing. I’m chuffed, like Sadness going, “Ohh, I might cry, this is lush.” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow”—piss off, love, just rub me bits! Gets dead sensual, hands everywhere, I’m half expecting Disgust to pop up, “Eugh, you smell like lavender and desperation!” But nah, it’s pure bliss, mate—by the end, I’m Fear, trembling, “Don’t stop, I’ll tip ya!”

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Nina’s exclusive tantric massage private treatment room is filled with warmth and gentle relaxing music will soon transfer you into another world. Sensual Tantric Massage BEACONSFIELD .

Then, outta nowhere, this lady comes in. She’s got a toddler who’s throwing a tantrum. I mean, full-on meltdown mode. Kid’s screaming like he’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m trying to focus on the register, but all I can think is, “Why do kids have to be so dramatic?” I can’t even hear myself think!

Pleistocene Cave Bear Footprints Discovered in Spain