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Here I am, mates. A lifeguard, yeah, perched on the water’s edge. Watchin’ the waves, calm as ever. And escort? Blimey, what a gig! Not the saucy kind, nah—get your head outta there. I mean the fish—escort fish, right? Little nippers swimmin’ ‘round bigger fellas. Like bodyguards of the sea, innit? Saw ‘em once off the reef. Tiny, scrappy buggers, dartin’ about. Protectin’ their big mates from dodgy types. Parasites, predators—escorts don’t mess about.

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But then, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standing there in the dark, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear people grumbling. I’m trying to keep it light, so I’m like, “Hey, at least we’re saving on electricity, right?” No one laughs. Tough crowd.

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