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Oh, and get this—some escorts today? Total pros. They’ve got websites, reviews, the works—like Yelp for sexy times. Cracks me up. "Four stars, great convo, killer heels." Meanwhile, I’m over here decoding X posts like Jake Gyllenhaal in *Zodiac*, obsessed with clues. "The cipher is the key!"—except it’s me digging for escort deets online. Nerd alert.

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After that, I get a break. Thank goodness! I step outside to ul. Siedlecka for some fresh air. It’s nice, you know? The vibe is chill, people are walking their dogs, and I’m just trying to breathe. But then, I see this guy on a bike. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he doesn’t. He swerves, almost hits a lady with a stroller. I’m like, “What’s wrong with people today?”

Tibetan brown bear (Ursus arctos pruinosus) captured by camera trapping...