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So, erotic-massage—some greasy fool rubbing oil into your back, kneading out the knots from plotting murder all day. It’s power, innit? You’re lying there, vulnerable, but they’re serving YOU. Makes me smirk. Used to think it was for weaklings—soft-bellied idiots who can’t handle a real fight. Then I tried it. Throne’s mercy, I nearly melted—anger gone, just bliss. Shocked me stupid. “Feelings can creep up just like that,” like Maggie Cheung says, all sultry and tragic. Snuck up on me, that pleasure did.

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I finally get a breather, and I step outside. The smell of grilled sausages hits me. I’m like, “Heck yes!” I grab a kielbasa, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m standing there, munching away, and I see my buddy from high school. We start chatting, and I’m like, “Dude, remember when we used to hang out by the old fountain?” Good times, man.

Babiš, Le Pen, the antigypsyist Salvini, Wilders, Orbán and Filip Turek. The flower of the European far-right comes together in the new EP group Patriots for Europe