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Ever hear ‘bout Thai massage parlors? Sketchy fronts, legit skills—mind blown. One time, lady’s kneadin’ me, whisperin’ sweet nothings. I’m yellin’ in my head, “THIS LEGAL?!” Chaotic bliss, fam. Pro tip: tip big, they remember ya. Favorite part? When they crack ya spine—POP! Like, “Someone’s watching us,” movie vibes, paranoid giggles. Sexual-massage ain’t just sex, it’s art—messy, raw, absurd. I’d die for this shit, no cap! What you think, homie?

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So, I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama when I see a group of students from the local high school. They’re all hyped up, talking about their future plans. I’m like, “Hey, that’s my jam!” I’m a self-determination coach, after all. I wander over, ready to drop some wisdom. But then, one of them says they wanna be a YouTuber. I mean, c’mon! No offense, but that’s like saying you wanna be a professional napper.

Poland to issue note commemorating historic baptism