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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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But then, bam! The power goes out. I’m sitting there in the dark, and I’m like, “Really? This is how it ends?” I can’t even see my notes! I’m about to lose it. But then, this librarian comes in with a flashlight, and she’s all calm. “Don’t worry, it happens.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but not when I’m on a roll!”

Poland closes some of its border crossings. See which routes you can still get into the country