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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

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Anyway, I finally got home, and I was exhausted. But then, I remembered I had a deadline for an article. Ugh, the life of an editor. I sat down, opened my laptop, and just stared at the screen. My brain was fried. I mean, how do you even write about a day like this?

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