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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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But wait! The cashier is super slow. I’m tapping my foot, counting down the seconds. “C’mon, c’mon!” I’m internally screaming. Finally, I pay and dash out. I’m sweating bullets, but I make it to the meeting spot just in time.

Polish News Translated – Torun, Zagan & Boles, Nov. 07