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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m The Auctioneer, bangin’ the gavel like Judge Judy on a bender, and today I’m spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Buckle up, ‘cause this ain’t no PG shi—stuff. Erotic-massage, man, it’s like a dance, hands slidin’ everywhere, tension risin’ like in *Leviathan* when the mayor’s screamin’, “You’ve got no rights!”—but here, you’re payin’ for the rights to feel *good*. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, this ain’t just some rubdown at yer local spa with lavender crap. Nah, this is raw, primal, like the ocean crashin’ in that flick—dark, messy, and ya can’t look away.

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Finally, we find the little furball chillin’ under a car. I’m like, “Dude, you had us worried!” The owner’s all teary-eyed, and I’m just relieved it’s not another tree situation.

Fig. 2. Flood-prone areas in the researched communes of the Łódź...