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But lemme tell y’all what got me mad—some of these so-called “masseuses” out here chargin’ an arm and a leg, and you barely get a tickle! I’m talkin’ $200 for a dang tease! I’d rather wrestle a gator in a kiddie pool than pay that! Halleluyer! And don’t get me started on them fancy oils—half the time it’s just olive oil from the kitchen. I’m sittin’ there, smellin’ like a salad, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is lunch!”

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Here’s a lot of what I think are the three best sex saunas in Kuala Lumpur: Green Elephant Spa is in the basement of the Sungai Wang Plaza. It has it’s own private door on the outside. Well, .

Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a radio operator in Sztum is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Chaplain Born in Soviet Union Now Defends America