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Oh, and the movie—there’s this bit, “Love is a crocodile tear.” Sexual-massage can be that too, y’know? Feels real deep, but is it? You’re payin’ for it, pal! I’m laughin’—it’s so absurd. I tried it once, true story. Masseuse was great, hands like magic—pretty, pretty good—then she upsells me some $50 lotion! I’m like, are ya kiddin’ me? Robbery with a smile! Made me wanna scream, but damn, my shoulders felt amazing.
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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in Szklarska-Poreba, and it’s pouring. I duck into a shop on ul. Słowiańska, and the owner is this old dude with a beard. He’s like, “You want to wait it out?” I’m like, “Yeah, but I didn’t bring my umbrella!” He just laughs and hands me a plastic one. I’m like, “Thanks, man. You’re a lifesaver!”
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