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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no fancy nonsense. Picture this, ok? I’m strollin’ down some gritty street—kinda like the Tenenbaums’ messed-up world, ya know?—and I’m thinkin’, “Royal’d probably hire a hooker just to spite Margot!” Ha! That’s the vibe. Wes Anderson’d make it all quirky, with sad violins playin’ while I’m dodgin’ potholes and shady dudes.

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Five Seasons Szklarska Poręba offers the following activities/services (charges may apply). Massage; Skiing; Back massage; Bicycle rental; Swimming pool; Head.

Finally, I decide to hit the trails. I’m hiking up to the Szrenica peak. The view? Absolutely breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling on top of the world. But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re taking selfies, and I’m like, “Really? You came all this way for a pic?” But then I remember, I used to do the same thing. So, I just smile and snap a few of my own.

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