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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a quick fuck—nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill, patience—ain’t no fast food drive-thru. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—candles, some dope music, hands kneadin’ like dough, and bam, you’re floatin’. Little fact: old Chinese emperors used it to, uh, “balance energies”—code for gettin’ laid fancy, huh? Hilarious, right? Bet they had happy endings with extra soy sauce.

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Erotic massage; Intimate massage; Pornstar Experience (PSE); Foot Fetish; Rimming (take); Ball Licking and Sucking; Handjob; BDSM.

Then I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on ul. Piastowska. The barista? Super chill. I order a cappuccino, and she’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of magic?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then she spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great, now I’m paying for a magic show.” But hey, it’s all good. I got my caffeine fix.

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